anatomy

i'm back in anatomy lab again. trying to learn as much as i can. i've been thinking about how after these two weeks of gross anatomy are over, i will only look at anatomy in a live person. yesterday a friend of mine and i were disecting the chest...we had to use the bone saw to cut through some ribs so that we could expose the thorax. our prof told us to be careful not to sever the internal thoracic arteries so that we could appreciate the anatomy. well, despite our best efforts, we totally cut through one of them. it was no big deal, but i was thinking what a big deal it would be if i did this in a live person.

there is always anxiety when someone starts a new job, but how many people's jobs involve cutting into another human being? one of my mentors, who is an older surgeon, once said something in the OR that i will never forget. he stood back from the table and let his residents operate. he had his arms folded in front of him and watched as we disected this young woman's neck. i looked over at him briefly. he smiled and lowered his head, and said, almost under his breath:
"what a way to make a living."

he has been a surgeon longer than i have been alive, and it is crazy that he is still struck by the oddity involved in cutting into another human being, and getting paid for it.

of course, surgery isn't usually undertaken if not completely necessary, but the act of it is still daunting, no matter how many times you have operated.