dating

Dating is such a low yield activity. I’ve never been a big fan of dating, cause I always think I have a pretty good idea of the trajectory of a relationship before it even starts. This is probably why I get myself into so much trouble. Cause dating is all about spending an unusual amount of time with someone you barely know. So, how are you supposed to really know what’s going to happen?

I’ll admit, sometimes I get all deep and shit and think that my intuition is right on the money. “I have a feeling about this or a feeling about that.” Well shit, those gut feelings are usually totally off. So I went out with this guy last night…it was date number 3. I took him to this salsa club where a famous Cuban band was playing. I had this impression that the guy I was going out with was a little bit shy and wouldn’t want to dance. Turns out that I’m the shy, indecisive one. “Do you want some water?” he would ask. “No, I’m o.k. Well maybe. How much is the water here anyway, I bet they totally rip you off. Well I guess I’m kinda thirsty, but I’ll be o.k.” GOD, I’M SO ANNOYING. I knew damn well that I was parched and was dying for water, but already felt bad about him paying 25 bucks for me to get in. He just looked at me and laughed and asked again “So was that a yes or a no? I’ll just go get some.” We were up on the balcony looking down at the band playing…and all the people dancing. Finally he grabbed me and dragged me onto the dance floor and started dancing. He’s a Filipino guy, never been salsa dancing in his life, but shit, he had rhythm.

“I never said I couldn’t dance,” he said, “ I just said I didn’t know how to Salsa.”
I felt like such an ass, I made so many stupid assumptions. It was then that I realized I knew nothing about this guy…nothing at all. When the date was over, he sensed my obvious nervousness at the whole end-of-the-date dilemma. Would he kiss me or try to come upstairs? Two things I totally wasn’t ready for. I’m damaged goods. To say I’m guarded would be a severe understatement.

He hugged me, buried his face in my hair and told me I smelled nice. He then reached over me and opened the car door politely.

“Thank God,” I thought to myself. There’s nothing worse than kissing someone before you’re ready, cause instead of enjoying the intimacy, you get that sickish feeling in your stomach as you repeat to yourself over and over in your head “What the hell am I doing? When is he going to get his tongue out of my mouth?” Sometimes in the awkwardness of the moment you open your eyes and notice that they guy is way more into it than you are and then it’s all over. There’s no coming back from a pre-mature kiss for me. No coming back at all.

So it was a fun date. He was so cute in his punk-tight jeans, stevie wonder t-shirt, green zipped hoodie with overlying black blazer and skater shoes. He was so freaking cute. And ended up being a lot more outgoing and sexy than I thought.

But I’m just not ready, so I like the pace.

My best friend Ami told me that I should just grab him and kiss him when I’m ready. He said that when a girl does that it really empowers a guy. So I’m saving that move for when I’m ready. Hopefully he’ll hold out for that, or else there will be some serious kiss-dodging going on…another move that no relationship can ever really come back from.

The group we went to see was awesome. Check them out at:
http://www.maraca.cult.cu/